I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
