Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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