come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
