I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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