You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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