fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize