i don't like sucking hair
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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