i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize