Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
