I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
that's an acceptable place to lick
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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