My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
