is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize