Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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