I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
