I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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