I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
