Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
