the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
