take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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