im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
