I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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