he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
