just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
