life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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