Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
