So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize