It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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