you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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