your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
