so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
