At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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