I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
