okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
