Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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