How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
