i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
