The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize