but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
