how can u be prego again
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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