can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
