Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
