Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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