butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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