No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
