things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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