direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sext me about skeletons
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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