if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
