Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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