You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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