He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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