therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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