im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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