New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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