I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
