So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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