69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
