It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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