Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.

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(419): View more from Ohio

So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes

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(518): View more from New York

how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?

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