mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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