Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
