Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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