This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
