i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize