So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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