So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
