You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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