No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
